i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
