Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
