Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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