Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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  (313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair http://tfl.nu/9zqr
  Replies (1) Good night (1958) Bad night (1182)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.

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  (917): My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star. http://tfl.nu/572f
  Replies (13) Good night (2270) Bad night (1070)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.

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  (207): I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy. http://tfl.nu/9ve4
  Replies (19) Good night (613) Bad night (3745)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.

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  (905): Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine. http://tfl.nu/hm69
  Replies (12) Good night (1258) Bad night (4009)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2351) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.

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  (505): All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice. http://tfl.nu/9vs4
  Replies (9) Good night (2803) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.

  (352): View more from Florida

  teach me your ways.

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  (770): he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it. (352): teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/5pat
  Replies (6) Good night (2988) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.

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  (802): If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care. http://tfl.nu/zmsa
  Replies (11) Good night (1101) Bad night (1890)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.

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  (954): I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control. http://tfl.nu/bct6
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

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  (406): I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before! http://tfl.nu/id35
  Replies (10) Good night (1471) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...

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  (402): Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem... http://tfl.nu/aasf
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

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  (203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744
  Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes

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  (407): I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes http://tfl.nu/re4k
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (924): View more from

  He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same

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  (924): He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it (224): Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same http://tfl.nu/6art
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.

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  (562): I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom. http://tfl.nu/o8ix
  Replies (2) Good night (232) Bad night (576)

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