Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You really coming over, don't trick.

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(313): You really coming over, don't trick. http://tfl.nu/futk

Replies (2) Good night (1175) Bad night (1665)
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(831): View more from California

dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains

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(831): dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains http://tfl.nu/i60z

Replies (79) Good night (625) Bad night (2463)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...

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(404): i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with... http://tfl.nu/j0qq

Replies (27) Good night (3916) Bad night (876)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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(856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs

Replies (6) Good night (1016) Bad night (5888)
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(816): View more from Missouri

dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

(816): View more from Missouri

that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

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(816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0

Replies (35) Good night (12577) Bad night (1558)
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(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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(818): i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday... (805): i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it" http://tfl.nu/3fjc

Replies (22) Good night (6782) Bad night (1759)
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(315): View more from New York

I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours

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(315): I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours http://tfl.nu/z9bp

Replies (8) Good night (2493) Bad night (817)
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(206): View more from Washington

I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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(206): I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/2cd4

Replies (4) Good night (1817) Bad night (756)
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(254): View more from Texas

There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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(254): There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator http://tfl.nu/goje

Replies (18) Good night (2622) Bad night (1575)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

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(256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44

Replies (8) Good night (936) Bad night (335)
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(707): View more from California

According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.

(253): View more from Washington

You called the wrong number but I salute you.

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(707): According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground. (253): You called the wrong number but I salute you. http://tfl.nu/npd5

Replies (4) Good night (1457) Bad night (330)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.

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(402): There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP. http://tfl.nu/d9id

Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (340)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business

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(269): Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business http://tfl.nu/b5lq

Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (404)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program

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(780): I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program http://tfl.nu/uwem

Replies (1) Good night (728) Bad night (247)
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(425): View more from Washington

Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours

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(425): Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours http://tfl.nu/gzq5

Replies (1) Good night (509) Bad night (213)

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