dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
