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two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
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