I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?