After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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