Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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