So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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