i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
