He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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