Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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