Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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