The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
