i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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