rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
