i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
