cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My cat gives me a boner
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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