FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The Olympian is in my bed
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
