Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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