You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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