I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
