Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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