a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
