We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
