The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
