the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
