You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize