tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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