So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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