i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
