Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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