Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm both gender and math confused
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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