could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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