I just pynch a tree in the face
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
