So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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