my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
