Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
