so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
