Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i now understand why vodka
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
