I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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