some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
