Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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