You work out of a Hotel?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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