You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
