I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
