Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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