Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
