okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize