moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
