he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
