Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
