A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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