Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
