We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
