try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
