ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
what day is it and did you see me today?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
