So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize