i just had sex bonerless
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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