I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He passed out mid-signature
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
