you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
