Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
