Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
