I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
