Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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